The fluorescent lights flicker above, and Jinki’s fingers click and tap gently against the worn out keyboard of his notebook. He squints against the small screen and pauses for a bit, adjusts the pillow behind him, and closes his eyes. He tries to think of words to add, for elaborated paragraphs that he could incorporate into that term paper of his, but nothing comes. He lets out a somewhat desperate sigh, before he hears the sound of rolling wheels inching closer towards him. Jonghyun is on the other side of the bed, still in his wheelchair.
“Oh, hey, Jjong. Here, let me help you get up…” Jinki offers a hand and places his notebook down, but the younger one refuses and pulls himself up on the bed using his own upper body strength. (“See, I knew these Jjongguns would come in handy one day, hyung.” He used to joke around.) Jinki smiles and places a soft kiss upon the boy’s forehead, before he proceeds onto what he was doing earlier. Jonghyun watches, and he notices how Jinki grows more and more tired every day.
Jonghyun can’t help but feel more useless than he already is; besides being a burden to Jinki, he can’t even serve the proper use as a boyfriend by listening to what the other one says. Because Jinki never says anything. He never complains, or whines, or protests about how heavy the weight on his shoulder is; Jonghyun knows it’s heavier than Jinki would like to admit. He just wishes that sometimes Jinki would finally confide in him about everything that’s bothering him; about everything that hurt. He wishes for Jinki to say something; anything at all.
When they moved in together, both of them knew it was not going to be easy. And when Jonghyun got into that accident that impaired him from walking, life just got a whole lot harder for the two. But shit happens. They’ve had their ups and downs, and through it all, the two manage to stick together. But now jonghyun was starting to think they were falling apart.
“Hm?” Jinki pushes his glasses back up his nose with his middle finger, like he always does, and turns his head to look at Jonghyun.
“I—I think, I think that our situation is, well, it’s really difficult right now, and—”
“Yeah, Jjong, I know. But we’ll get through this, together, right?” Jinki smiles through his tired eyes and grips Jonghyun’s hand in his.
“I know. That’s what you said last time, and the time before that.” Jonghyun sighs. “But, I’ve really thought about it this time and, well, I think it would be better if I stayed with my parents for a while.”
“Stay with your parents? But why? I really don’t think that’s necessary, I mean, you’re here with me right now, aren’t you?” Jinki questions skeptically.
“Yeah, but, I was kind of thinking that we needed a break.”
“A break? What does that mean?”
“A break. Just. A break.” Jonghyun shrugs, and Jinki laughs slightly.
“Really now, Jjong? I don’t have time for a break. I study, and I work to support us both, and—“
“That’s exactly it! You never know how to relax anymore. You—you never have time for me anymore.” Jonghyun sighs. Jinki scoffs.
“Since when did you turn into such a fucking emotional drama queen? Has Kibum been influencing you too much lately? Or have you just been watching too many sappy dramas when you’re at home by yourself? Jesus fucking Christ.” Jinki buries his face into his hands, and drags his hands up, combing his fingers through his hair. He lets out a sharp exhale and closes his eyes. Jonghyun looks up at him in surprise.
“And since when have you been this much of an asshole, hyung? I was just thinking about you!” Jonghyun feels his eyes suddenly water, and he lifts himself up to get back down on the wheelchair carefully, like he had practiced before when Jinki wasn’t there to help him. He starts to wheel away, but quiet sounds of sobbing made him stop halfway. Jonghyun chews on his bottom lip, and turns around, hesitantly. Jinki has his face hidden in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly. Jonghyun wheels back on Jinki’s side of the bed and frowns; he can’t stand seeing Jinki like this.
“Jjong, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, I just, I don’t know. This has all been too much, and I didn’t even realize that I’ve been ignoring you. I don’t blame you that you want to leave. But fuck. Please don’t. I need you, Jjong. I don’t care that I have to study and work; I don’t care how much it wears me out. Because you know what? At the end of the day, when I come home at one in the morning and I find you sleeping by the door because you were trying to wait up for me, all my exhaustion just melts away. So god, don’t fucking leave me, please.” Jinki sobs hysterically, and Jonghyun can only pat his back comfortingly. He pulls himself up on the bed and hugs Jinki, letting the older one cry on his chest. Jinki clings at the fabric, soaking Jonghyun’s shirt through with his tears.
Jonghyun places his head on top of Jinki’s, and the older one buries his head in the crook of Jonghyun’s neck, breathing in huge amounts of Jonghyun’s scent, soaking in his warmth. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun thankfully, and thinks that nothing else really matters then. Jonghyun didn’t leave him, and he was more than happy. (Screw you, term paper.)
Jonghyun smiles, runs his fingers through Jinki’s auburn tresses and hums; He’s happy, and he’s finally useful for once.
Because Jinki finally said something.
ugh. another one of those " I feel like I need to write something despite the fact that it's 12 am " things. sorry for the fail. it's also my first attempt at JongYu. ;A;